OUR CRAZY LIFE

Crystal Ball

2012-02-02T16:50:00.002-06:00

I don't know what to think anymore. I know that only OUR KIDS will make it into our family...I just wish we had a crystal ball to find out who that is and when they are coming or if there's more coming at all. I'm so exhausted from all the ups and downs and unknowns.

So here's the update...

1.) Our original three (B-4, G-3, B-almost 2) - Won't know anything until late January court date. Yeah so now we have to wait until Feb. 17th or later. :(

2.) Other agency (G-5, B-4, G-2) - BIS not set yet. Have not heard anything on these, we're assuming that the same paperwork difference (in #4) will be a problem with this one too. :(

3.) Our agency (B-2, B-1) - BIS should be set soon. We were notified today that we were not chosen to be included in the BIS, they chose two families that are closer to the current foster home. :(
4.) Other agency (G-2, B-1) - BIS will probably be the first one but don't have a date yet. BIS already has taken place, we were not allowed to be included because of a paperwork difference between their agency and ours. :(

5.) Our agency (G-8.5, G-almost 3) - These are another set (like original 3) that have been back and forth on finding a home. These poor girls desperately need permanency but I still don't think it's close since their still waiting on paperwork from another state about a relative for the oldest. :( We were told that a BIS has been set for Monday Feb. 6th but we won't find out until tomorrow if we will be included or not.

6.) Other Agency (B-4, B-2, G-1) - I'm calling on these three tomorrow but the same paperwork issue could be a problem with them too. I'm going to talk with the other agency to see if there's anything we can personally do to remedy the paperwork issue since our worker seems to not want to help us with it.

Brooke's Fun

2012-02-01T18:25:00.000-06:00

Brooke has been doing a lot of cheering and dancing lately!

Footloose dance

Run the World dance

Lexy's fun

2012-02-01T15:25:00.000-06:00

Lexy has had lots of fun using her imagination and creativity lately...

Playing with water beads on the light box.

Making a town with blocks.

Making "floats" and having a parade to celebrate the 151st birthday of KS!

My girls

2012-01-26T10:20:00.001-06:00

Because I feel that it needs to be said...

We started this current adoption journey because we felt that God was asking us to be open to adding to our family. We have embraced that request and we would be overjoyed to welcome more children into our home and family. BUT if, for whatever reason, that doesn't happen we will be okay with that too...we feel blessed just as we are.

I don't want to forget to be truly grateful for what God has given us. I have the two most wonderful, beautiful, smart, sweet daughters in the world. I love EVERY SINGLE THING about them...yes even the sass, whine and stubbornness. :) Those two girls make my life complete. I love that I am the one person in this world that they both feel most comfortable to talk to, to cuddle with and to show their true selves. I am so blessed to be the one they call Mom/Mommy.

Love For My Daughters

My beautiful daughters, I was blessed with two of you...

You will never know how proud I am of all the things you do.

You came into my world, so tiny and so small...

And I was in awe at the wonder of it all.

Then you placed your little hand in mine...

There was no denying, my heart was yours 'til the end of time.

I have watched you both through out the years, laugh, cry and grow...

And it is difficult to know, that someday I will have to let you go.

I just can't imagine, a day of my life without you...

Because you're a part of me and my love for you is true.

So just remember, no matter how old you are or where you may be...

There's someone who needs you and loves you and that someone is me!

by Debra L. Cash

Court Update

2012-01-24T10:05:00.000-06:00

So I guess there was a 4th option for an outcome yesterday that I didn't consider. The hearing took ALL day 8:30am to 5:00pm and they did not get finished. There is another hearing set for 2/17 to finish up testimony. Nobody is sure if there will be a decision made that day or if the judge will then set another date to reveal his decision.

Another month of stress just plain SUCKS!!!

No update

2012-01-23T20:18:00.000-06:00

Sadly we don't know what the outcome is. I talked with our worker at 2pm today and she said she had e-mailed and left a message with the worker but hadn't received a reply. She promised that she would call as soon as she heard back...it is now 8:15pm...I don't think we'll know anything tonight :(

Court

2012-01-23T10:01:00.000-06:00

I've been battling stress the past few days as we got closer to today. Today is the court date to determine if we will be adopting the three kids that we were choosen for or if they will stay where they are. I am so ready for this to be over (three months of wondering and worrying, emotions up and down, stress at every turn). I think I am prepared for whatever the outcome is...I think...

Court started at 8:30 am this morning, we were not invited. How long it takes all depends on how much testimony everyone gives. Then the judge will do one of three things today...1. rule for the foster mom and the children will be placed in her custody for adoption. 2. rule against the foster mom and the kids will be placed for adoption with us. 3. say that he needs more time to decide his outcome and will set a later date for his decision to be revealed.

IF the decision is #2 (judge rules against the foster mom) then we are not sure what the process will look like yet. We could be asked to pick the kids up for placement today, tomorrow, next week, etc. etc. etc. Our worker just told us to be prepared to scramble if necessary.

My stomach is in knots :(

Lexy & Mommy Day

2012-01-16T22:23:00.000-06:00

The girls were out of school today.

Mike was off of work but was on call so couldn't do anything.

Brooke had plans with Lindsey to go shopping for things for their formal dance.

SO...

Lexy and I had a Mommy & Me Day!

We ate lunch at Lexy's choice (McD's)

We went shopping at Lexy's favorite stores - American Girl, Build A Bear and Target

We bought a skateboard (for her Koala) and Legos

We DID NOT shop for clothes b/c that's what Lexy wanted)

We talked

We laughed

We snacked on ice cream (belgian chocolate YUM)

I'm so glad that God made me her Mommy!

Before & After

2012-01-16T22:04:00.000-06:00

For our Family Fun time over the weekend we headed up to Nebraska Furniture Mart to find an entertainment center to go with our new tv (Mike & I's Christmas gifts). We also went shopping at the outdoor mall since it was so nice out and then we headed to Culver's for dinner and ice cream.

Sunday Mike and I spent a good part of the day setting up the new stand and tv (yes we are finally joining the 21st century!)...

I can't express how much I like the new set up! Do you see that clutter in the before picture?? Over the years that cabinet had become the catch all for everything and it DROVE ME CRAZY! So my family has been properly warned that there is to be NOTHING placed on our new cabinet! :)

Red Plate-Lexy (Student of the Month)

2012-01-11T22:25:00.001-06:00

We've started a new tradition...the "I am special red plate". I've been reading about this tradition for awhile now and just picked up a red plate to start it up about a week ago. The thought behind it is anytime someone in the family does something special, receives a special award/honor or has a special day (b-days, etc.) then that person gets to be honored by using the special red plate.

I got our red plate just in time because on Tuesday Lexy brought home a letter that she had been chosen (by the teachers) as the Student of the Month for the entire 2nd grade!! So Lexy got to start up our red plate tradition at dinner!

She also got a certificate and a trip to Pizza Hut for lunch with the principal and the other students of the month!

Happy girl = Scared momma

2012-01-06T11:05:00.000-06:00

Lexy asked Santa for a skateboard this year...after I said I wouldn't buy something so dangerous! :)

I've put her off every time she has asked to take it outside since Christmas. Yesterday, after school, it was in the 60's and Lexy asked again to try out her new skateboard. After several attempts to distract her and making her put on jeans, tennis shoes, helmet, elbow/knee and wrist pads...I finally let her do it.

She actually kinda knew what to do and is pretty good :)

So then she asked if she could work on balancing on her bike again (she's trying to learn to ride w/o training wheels) and she got it this time! She could push herself with her feet and then balance all the way down the sidewalk! Crud now real "riding" will be coming soon.

I love that Lexy has no fear of trying new things and she tries and tries again until she gets good at it. I just wish her "new things" weren't so scary to a momma! I can so see that girl bungee jumping and sky diving when she's older!

I'm thinking I'm just going to invest in bubble wrap to help keep her safe...or maybe a bubble! :)

New Year

2012-01-02T12:06:00.000-06:00

My word to live by for 2012 will be...GRATEFUL.

Some of my other words in past years have been BELIEVE (that all things will work out as they should) and DETERMINATION (to do everything I could do to MAKE things work out the way they should).

While I still believe that all things will work out the way they are meant to and I will do everything that I personally need to do to help make those things happen...I need to be GRATEFUL for the right now, for the little things, for all that I have AT THIS MOMENT!

I will be GRATEFUL for what I have TODAY instead of focusing on what could/should/might happen tomorrow. I will live IN THE MOMENT, and be grateful for that moment...appreciating the wonderful life that I have been given every single day!

I will be GRATEFUL for the love, health, safety and happiness of my family and friends.

New Years Eve

2012-01-01T11:49:00.000-06:00

As per tradition, we stayed home for New Year's Eve and Papa & Grammy came to spend the evening with us. Sadly there was a change this year...for the first time ever Brooke had her own party to attend (at Taryn's). Makes me sad to see her growing up!

We had lots of snack food for the evening.
I made sacks for Lexy and Avree to open each hour with hats, horns, etc. in them.
We put money and glow bracelets in balloons and blew them up for popping later.
Lexy and Avree played the Wii, did crafts and played all evening (easily staying up until midnight!).
The adults played penny poker.
We toasted in the new year with sparkling apple juice.
Lexy and Avree went outside to pop their poppers.
Before going to bed, Lexy and Avree performed a routine (w/the glow sticks) that they had made up.

Adoption Update

2011-12-29T10:33:00.001-06:00

Really no new information except that we have submitted our homestudy on two more sibling sets. We are now being considered for five different sibling sets...

1.) Our original three (B-4, G-3, B-almost 2) - Won't know anything until late January court date.

2.) Other agency (G-5, B-4, G-2) - BIS not set yet.

3.) Our agency (B-2, B-1) - BIS should be set soon.

4.) Other agency (G-2, B-1) - BIS will probably be the first one but don't have a date yet.

5.) Our agency (G-8.5, G-almost 3) - These are another set (like original 3) that have been back and forth on finding a home. These poor girls desperately need permanency but I still don't think it's close since their still waiting on paperwork from another state about a relative for the oldest. :(

I couldn't stop myself from buying a toy that I have had my eye on today (on clearance). It was just a simple wooden boy with magnetic clothes but I just know that whomever God plans to place in our family will love it! :)

Meet Brandy...

2011-12-28T22:12:00.000-06:00

Lexy, who has never really played with dolls, BEGGED for an American Girl doll for Christmas this year! She started talking about it a couple months before and truthfully I thought she would lose interest and move onto something else but she proved me wrong! She looked through the American Girl catalog about 100 times a day and chose which doll looked just like her...#23 if you're wondering (she would quiz us on this number!). She was so very happy when she saw an American Girl bag show up under the tree and it drove her crazy that she couldn't open it early! She did open it first on Christmas morning though!!

Lexy had been thinking of names for her doll but wanted to wait to "see what she looked like" before naming her. The name she finally chose was "Brandy"...a mixture of Lexy and Brandon (yep he's still her "boyfriend"). Brandon's mom, Sheresa, had a good laugh when I let her know that she was a Grandma!!

Friends Day

2011-12-27T17:35:00.000-06:00

Brooke, Kenzie, Ryan, Lexy and Molly

On Monday we went with Robin and her kids for a fun day. We started out at Golden Corral for lunch, then headed to see a movie (We Bought a Zoo). After the movie we went to the mall (which was SO packed) and then went to Denny's for dinner before heading home.

Christmas 2011 :)

2011-12-27T17:20:00.000-06:00

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-27T00:42:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas to all!!

2011-12-25T07:00:00.001-06:00

As we are waking up early, opening our gifts, eating our blueberry muffins and bacon and enjoying our family, we want to take time to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!!

Lexy & Brooke's Christmas jammies 2011

Past trauma and holidays

2011-12-24T23:46:00.001-06:00

For the past week or so I've noticed that Lexy has been having an increasingly harder time regulating her emotions. She's having a harder time getting to sleep, nervous/anxious acting and upsets easily. I decided to go back and read my posts from this time last year and discovered that she had the same issues last year. I've read that children/people with trauma in their past have a harder time at holiday time but I really didn't put two and two together for Lexy until now. I think that all the excitement, waiting/anticipation and change of routine is just more than her little body and mind can deal with. I'm hoping that as time goes on and she matures that this will become easier for her but the reality is that times like this may always be a struggle for her. :( Hopefully as things settle down after Christmas she can relax again, I hate to see my sweet girl have to deal with all this!

The cousins

2011-12-23T23:36:00.001-06:00

We watched the kids (Ashley, Toby and Johnny) so CJ and Jess could do some Christmas shopping. Lexy and Ashley played board games and dolls all evening, Johnny was his cute self sleeping, eating and smiling and Toby had us cracking up! He is a funny little guy :) Love those kids!!!

The Homeless Man

2011-12-22T21:26:00.001-06:00

On our way to the mall we saw a homeless man sitting on the side of the road on the exit ramp (he's way up there by the sign). The girls and I talked about him the entire time we were at the mall, we live in an area that we don't see many homeless people. When we left the mall it had begun to snow and Brooke and Lexy were concerned that the man would be very cold and hungry sitting out there.

They asked if we could buy him some food and coffee (Lexy offered her money). It turned into quite the ordeal after we got the food because of where he was sitting. The only way we could get back to him was to backtrack about five miles and then take the exit again...so we did.

When we pulled up on the side of the road the older man jumped up and walked over to our car. I handed him the sack of food (McDonalds) with $5.00 inside and a large coffee and we all said "Merry Christmas". With tears in his eyes he brought the cup of coffee up to his mouth and kept saying "God bless you all". As we drove away we were all crying...definately a lesson in what this season should be all about!

A dog massage

2011-12-22T09:08:00.001-06:00

Don't all dogs get shoulder massages while watching TV? :)

First Day - Winter Break

2011-12-21T14:44:00.000-06:00

We found Jingle the Elf on the kitchen counter this morning pretending to roast marshmallows with Santa! Lexy wanted to try to actually roast the marshmallows so we lit the candle and used toothpicks and mini marshmallows...she has been roasting all day long!

We didn't have any plans for today so I got out the plastic pellets that I bought for a project and Lexy had fun pretending it was snow...

Winter Party

2011-12-20T13:14:00.000-06:00

Lexy's gift to her teacher (peanut butter fudge) and classmates (flavored tootsie roll banks)

After the Winter Party, school let out early and Avree came home with Lexy to exchange gifts, play and have dinner together...

Lexy's gift to Avree - monkey earrings and BFF door pillow

Avre's gift to Lexy - puppy chow (yum!) and a BFF shirt like hers

Christmas Family Fun Day

2011-12-18T09:17:00.001-06:00

We had a great family fun day - Christmas Style over the weekend. We did a little shopping, had dinner, went to see a movie...

Alvin & The Chipmunks - Chipwrecked

and then we headed out to look at some lights...

Adoption Update

2011-12-14T15:41:00.000-06:00

I've been quiet on the "adoption stuff", not because nothing is happening...simply because we are choosing to fully enjoy our holidays! But I want to remember what is happening during this time in our journey so...

We have submitted our homestudy on two more sibling sets...1.) G - 5, B - 4, G - 2...with another agency in our state 2.) B - 2, B - 1...with our agency. Best Interest Staffings should be scheduled soon in both these situations.

In the case of the three that we thought were coming...we were told that the agency/SRS did the internal grievance review and still stand strong in their decision to not place with the foster mom. We were also told that now the foster mom's lawyer has petitioned the court for them to consider removing the kids from SRS custody and placing them in the custody of the foster mom for adoption. This is really the only way that the kids could stay with the foster mom so we understand why she is choosing to go this route BUT she would have to adopt without any assistance from the state and for these three kids (with multiple needs) that is HUGE. Court is still set for the end of January, our worker says that this particular judge is very unpredictable so nobody really knows what will happen.

My hope is that by the end of January we will know who will be joining our family!

Brooke AND Lexy Dance

2011-12-14T14:20:00.002-06:00

Lexy decided to attend the Little Girls Dance Camp that Brooke's cheer/dance squad put on this year where they learned a dance routine to a Michael Jackson song. Last night the girls were invited to perform their dance at the basketball game. They all got a hat and sparkly glove to complete their outfit. It was so cute to see both my girls performing at the same time! Afterwards Lexy said she loved doing the dance but she still doesn't want to be a cheerleader! :)

Cookie Making

2011-12-12T12:12:00.000-06:00

Our Elf on the Shelf, Jingle brought the fixings for making and decorating sugar cookies one morning. Both girls were excited to make and eat them!!

Slumber Party and Snowman Night at the Library

2011-12-11T11:32:00.001-06:00

On Saturday night both girls had something fun to do. :)

Brooke had the annual Christmas slumber party with her high school sorority...

Lindsey, Suzy, Brooke, Katie, Audrey

And we took Lexy and her best friend Avree to a Snowman Night at the local library for crafts, stories and snacks...

President Obama's Visit

2011-12-07T13:46:00.001-06:00

I'm not into politics in the least bit but this was amazing for our whole town.

The president came to visit us...ok so we didn't get to invite him into our home for dinner (that thought gives me anxiety), talk to him or even see him (except for through the glass of the car) but it was exciting all the same.

We could have stood outside (in the freezing cold) all night for a ticket to be in the building with him but we decided that we weren't that dedicated :)...now Brooke and I both said that if it were Ashton Kutcher we would have sat outside for days haha!!

I did go to Robin's with some other friends and we stood out on the sidewalk (we were told that if we went any closer to the street than the sidewalk that we would probably be either shot or tackled to the ground!) and watched the motorcade speed by before the speech. We went inside to watch the speech on TV then we went back out to watch the motorcade leave town...much slower this time and we actually saw The President waving at us from the car. Brooke watched the speech on TV with friends (her school was optional for the day) and Lexy's class watched it in their classroom (she said it was boring haha).

All in all this was a great opportunity for our town (we are now a part of history) and a great story that the girls will get to tell their kids and grandkids!

President Obama waving at us (back window)

President Obama - News crews - The Stage - The Motorcade

Presidential Helicoptor - Drew Needam (local boy who sung the National Anthem to the President) -
President Obama doing a meet & greet - President Obama's car

Security Helicoptors - President Obama giving his speech -
President Obama getting off the helicoptor - President Obama's signature

Toby & Johnny

2011-12-06T11:16:00.000-06:00

I got to spend the day with my two sweet little nephews yesterday! They got here early so Lexy got to see them before school and then because she had late start, Brooke watched them while I took Lexy to school. We love those boys!!

Room Switch

2011-12-04T10:57:00.000-06:00

We decided that since we already had ordered and picked up the bunk beds that we would go ahead and do the room switch (Lexy and us) and set up the new bed. We figure that hopefully we'll be adding more kids to the house soon so this will be one less stress when that time comes!

BEFORE - Lexy's messy room :)

AFTER - Our very small room :)

Our room is now definately smaller but we're willing to make the sacrifice so our kiddos (and future kiddos) will have plenty of room! :)

I'm going to wait to show Lexy's (and future kiddos) room. We still have a few wall things and accessories to finish up!

Mrs. Claus' visit

2011-12-02T10:47:00.000-06:00

It is tradition in our house for Mrs. Claus to leave a note and new ornaments for each child in our home on December 1st of each year. She must have been busy yesterday because she visited a day late this year! This year along with the note and ornaments, Mrs. Claus left a snowman countdown and an Elf on the Shelf book and elf!!

Lexy was so excited when I read the book to her. She couldn't wait to name the elf (our elf had left a note saying that she was a girl and gave some name suggestions). Our new elf's name is Jingle and we can't wait to see what funny, sneaky and naughty antics she will be up to while she is visiting!

O Christmas Tree

2011-11-28T13:55:00.000-06:00

On Saturday we put up our Christmas tree while listening and dancing to Christmas music.

After putting the tree up we realized the room just didn't look right so Brooke & I took down all of our spring/summer living room decor and did a little room makeover. :)

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-27T13:37:00.000-06:00

As per tradition we spent Thanksgiving at Grammy & Papa's house!

This year I am very thankful for the wonderful family that I have been blessed with!

Answers but not really

2011-11-23T20:10:00.000-06:00

I spent the day yesterday shopping (by myself, boo Robin for backing out on me...sickness is not an excuse!) thinking that any moment my phone would ring. It didn't ring all day so I stopped by the house to check e-mail before heading up to get Lexy. Our worker had e-mailed (chicken!) that the judge set a hearing date for the end of January to hear the fostermoms side. It also said that the kids can't be moved until then and we can't visit. I called our worker and we talked about what this means for us.

We have no idea how the judge will rule in January. He could rule against the agency and SRS and let the fostermom adopt or he could uphold agency/SRS decision and the kids would then be placed with us (if we are still interested). What we have decided is for our sanity we will move forward and look at new profiles. If there are any kiddos that we are interested in we will have our worker submit our homestudy. Then in January we will wait to see what the judge's decision is. If these kids are meant to be ours then it will all work out and if they aren't meant to be ours then maybe our kids will present themselves while we wait!

I returned the car seats today...it was hard...felt like we were giving up. But we can't have three extra car seats sitting in our car for two months :( The jammies, stroller and some of the toys still need to be returned. We've decided to still get the bunk bed set, we promised Lexy she could have one either way.

I've had my moments of "why are we being put through this again?". Our family has been through a lot of heartache and loss when it comes to kiddos that we have loved. But we do all feel that this (adopting again) is what we are supposed to be doing so we'll push forward. We know that we are truly blessed to have one another and if our family is meant to grow again then it will. :) So for now we will enjoy spending time as our little family and celebrate the holidays to the fullest while we wait!

Court

2011-11-22T09:38:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here with knots in my stomach. I've already taken tums this morning. I need to get out of this house...waiting on Robin to be ready to go.

Court was this morning at 8:30am. Our adoption worker said she would call as soon as she heard the outcome. The judge could decide that the fostermom doesn't have a case and end everything today allowing us to move the kids here and adopt or the judge could decide that the fostermom has a case and schedule a trial/hearing date to hear the evidence...which would most likely be months down the road.

The waiting and stress are getting to me. I'm tired of not knowing what to say to anyone when they ask about the kids. Especially Lexy, she is so excited about getting more siblings and she wants to talk about them all the time and it makes me so sad to have to continuously remind her that they may not be coming at all.

I had already ordered several Christmas gifts for the kids...now they are arriving and with each box my stomach gets one more knot. I have three car seats sitting unopened in my car...I don't know whether I should take them back. There is a stroller, beds and bedding ordered and sitting at the store awaiting pickup...ugh. I go Christmas shopping and tell myself not to buy anymore for the three kids but somehow there's always something in the bag for them when I leave...

I just need someone to give me answers.

UGH!!!

2011-11-14T21:23:00.000-06:00

After several conversations back and forth, a transition plan was made and approved by all involved today. We were to have our first weekend visit this weekend with a final move in date of Dec. 8. We had made all the plans to make it happen and were all SO excited.

THEN our worker called tonight and dropped the bomb. Foster mom did indeed get a lawyer and petitioned the court to stop the move and allow her to adopt the children. We knew this was a possibility but it SUCKS!!!

Thankfully court was set for next Tuesday (usually it takes much longer to get a court date). I'm just hoping that this court date will result in a final answer. I do hope that final answer is in our favor but ultimately I just want what is best for those three little ones.

So obviously the visit for this weekend was cancelled...and we're mad and sad and frustrated and confused. :(

The good, the bad and the ugly

2011-11-10T21:59:00.000-06:00

The good...

We will be starting transition visits soon.

The bad...

The team now wants to do a 30 day transition plan.

The ugly...

The fostermom has filed a grievance with the agency. She also might be obtaining an attorney to fight having the kids moved.

We knew this was a possibility :( All we know is that SRS denied her for adoption. We don't know the reason but it was serious enough to not let her adopt these kids who have been with her for 18 months. She has the right to disagree with their decision and fight it. But the unknown sucks for us.

The team has made it clear that we are the family they have chosen for the kids and that we will move forward towards the goal of them moving to us unless/until they are told by the court to stop the move.

Our worker has been told to start transition visits. the question remains of how we will do those visits. Fostermom may or may not cooperate, we are 3 hours (one way) away, the weather is going to start getting bad for traveling, once a week visits and a long transition won't be best for these kids, we are scared to death to get attached etc., etc. Our worker said she was going to talk with a children's therapist and the team to discuss what options we have.

I WANTED THIS TO BE EASY!!! I know our plan isn't always God's plan...

Today I am thankful for three little sweeties that have no idea that we already love them and can't wait to hug them tight. I ordered their Christmas jammies today...although I had to guess on sizes...I can't wait to see them wearing them!

Couldn't wait

2011-11-07T13:42:00.000-06:00

We haven't heard anything since our file read meeting last Thursday about the adoption. We are waiting to hear answers on a few questions there are with the case.

We just couldn't wait any longer to do SOMETHING to make getting chosen for the kids seem real. On Friday we went to Wal-Mart and got paint to paint the room that Lexy and the kids will share and Daddy and Lexy stayed up late painting while Brooke & I went to see "Footloose".

This is the before color...what Lexy calls a yucky grey blue. Lexy picked a great color called "bermuda blue" that I'll post when we hear that we can actually set up the room!

Today I am thankful that my family is so excited for the possibility of this adoption. Lexy can't wait to share a room with her siblings. :)

Lexy's Program

2011-11-07T13:18:00.000-06:00

Last Thursday evening Lexy had her 2nd grade Music Program. The theme this year was Americana. The kids were asked to dress in red, white and/or blue and they sang some really cute songs.

Lexy with her 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Springer

Earthquake!!!!

2011-11-06T09:30:00.000-06:00

Last night we were all sitting in the living room when I felt the couch start shaking. At first I thought Lexy was kicking the back of the couch but then Brooke turned around from the computer with eyes wide asking "what's happening?" The entire house shook for about 20-30 seconds. We're supposed to have to worry about tornados...not earthquakes!

Today I am thankful that we do not live where there are actual earthquakes. The news said this earthquake happened 200 and some miles away and just our little house shakin' was enough for me!!

Long Day

2011-11-03T22:10:00.000-05:00

Today was file read day. Mike and I headed out for a three hour drive to the adoption office, sat and read three HUGE files (and there are still at least three more to read thru later) and then headed back for another three hour drive home. Thanks to Papa & Grammy for getting the girls from school and staying with them until we got home!

The file read went as expected...we kinda knew what was important to look for and write down since we have done this before. It is definitely sad to read about the life these kids and their parents, grandparents and great parents have lived. It's all just a vicious cycle :(

We gave our official "YES" to the adoption placement and now we wait for word on what will happen next. Normally at this point we would start transition visits while we wait for SRS to set up a subsidy/apa meeting but because of the circumstances in this case we are not sure how it will all go.

There is still a chance that this could all be drastically delayed or not happen at all...and that scares me because our family is 100% committed to these little ones and we have already begun to consider them a part of our family. Trying to stay positive...

Today I am very very thankful for my family :)

Thankful November

2011-11-01T23:10:00.001-05:00

Because I have SO much to be thankful for in my life (and it is one of the words we are working on as a family), I'm going to attempt to write about something I'm thankful for as many days in November as I can. :)

Today I am thankful for cold medicine. Without it I'd feel even worse than I do! I'm thinking my girls (and maybe even Mike) are thankful for my lack of a voice. :)

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T09:29:00.000-05:00

As per tradition, we celebrated Halloween this year with the local Spook Parade, school parties and trick or treating.

Brooke really didn't dress up this year. She wore her "Thriller" outfit while she worked at the Spook Parade Bash and on Halloween night she put a headband around her head and called herself an Indian/Hippie while she hung out with a group of friends.

Lexy decided she wanted to be a Werewolf this year. Her other choice was a flamingo but she decided she wanted to be scary...and boy was she! With her glasses Lexy has a hard time wearing masks so we decided to paint her face to go with her costume and I think it turned out great. I love that that girl never goes with the "normal" she's always thinking outside of the box!

It's a Boy...and a Girl....and a Boy!!

2011-10-31T20:35:00.000-05:00

We were the chosen family on Friday at the best interest staffing and we were approved by SRS today (five days earlier than we thought!). On Thursday we will take a three hour drive (each way) to sit for four hours and read the file. After that we will wait for a subsidy/APA meeting to be set up by SRS, hopefully that will happen fast too! Our children will move in soon after that meeting :)

I cried with happiness and relief when I got off the phone with our worker and then immediately started freaking out a bit about all that needs to be done in a short amount of time. I know we can do it though so the freak out didn't last long. I called Mike, messaged Brooke (who told her entire seminar class when she got my message) and told Lexy when I went to her fall party at school (she said "this is THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE".)

Our life, family and home are about to change big time and we couldn't be happier! :)

Informal 2011

2011-10-31T09:30:00.000-05:00

The theme for Informal this year was Famous Couples.

On Saturday Brooke spent the day getting ready with a great group of girls before her and Taryn's dates met them at Taryn's house for pictures. Brooke and Sheldon (her good friend) went as Barbie & Ken and Taryn and Andy went as Allie & Noah from The Notebook. Of course Brooke had to drive them all to the dance in her pink car since she was Barbie :)

Brooke came home saying that this was one of the best nights ever!

Foster Memories Friday - Beth

2011-10-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

The next foster placement we took was a little different than the rest. We heard through family that our niece (whom we don't know well) had her daughter placed into foster care. We contacted the child's worker and asked to be considered for placement of Beth. We ended up having to pull the "we know what we're doing and we are relatives" card when the worker resisted moving her to us.

Beth was 10 months old when she moved to us. We tried to settle her into our family but Beth turned out to be one of the hardest kiddos that we fostered. She would scream at the top of her lungs constantly, never willing to settle or be comforted. On top of (or because of ) this...I'm not really sure which...I was never able to form a bond with Beth. I loved her and treated her the same as my girls but I just never got to the point that she was "mine". The case was complicated and we found that us being "family" made it even harder. The birthparents felt that we would give special treatment and not go by the rules for them and we weren't willing to do that which caused tension.

Birthmom had another baby about 6 months into us having Beth. Birthmom got to take that baby home from the hospital with her. It was looking more and more like Beth would be going home (we had started unsupervised visits) when birthmom started failing drug tests again.

After about seven months of Beth being with us we made the decision to have her moved to another foster home. It was a very hard decision for our family but it really was the best for everyone involved.

After Beth left us we heard that the new baby was also taken and placed into the same foster home. Then they were both moved to a grandma before eventually returning home to mom and dad. Beth now has 4 or 5 siblings. Beth is now 5 1/2 years old. I saw her in a store recently and she is beautiful.

Chores

2011-10-27T10:18:00.000-05:00

We've never really had set chores for the girls but lately I have found that they are getting lazier about cleaning up after themselves. This is especially true for Brooke who really needs to be learning how to keep a home running and clean before she's out on her own and living in filth :).

This is what I came up with...

1. Another area that needs improvement is how we act and speak to one another. Our family will be working on being respectful, cheerful, thankful and helpful towards one another.

2. These are our weekly chores. As a family we have always had our cleaning day on Sunday. Until now the girls have only been responsible for straightening up their rooms and Brooke does her own laundry but now they will be responsible for cleaning one other area of the house.

3. These are the daily chores. The girls pick two per week that they will be responsible for.

4. This is our discipline chart. The girls must move their clothespin down when a discipline issue arises. This starts over each day (except if they get down to grounded).

Each Sunday at dinner we discuss our words and give examples of something done right and something that still needs work for each family member. The girls also pick a new weekly and two new daily chores for the week, they must be different than the week before.

To help the girls know what needs to be done in each room I made up these cards. Brooke must do most of the things listed on her weekly chore card while Lexy has to pick two or three (to make it manageable). The sticks with initials are used to decide who gets to pick their chores first but would also be good for any time that both girls want/don't want to do something to make a fair decision (like when they argue about what to watch on TV!).

When we get more kiddos, it will be easy to add them to this system. I'm already thinking about adding chores like light helper (turn off all lights in house), line leader (on the way to/from the van), bath helper (hang towels, put dirty laundry in hamper) etc.

Adoption Update

2011-10-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

I talked to our adoption worker yesterday. I was wondering what the timeline would look like if we do indeed get the kids. She said this is what it normally looks like...

Best interest staffing - Ours is Friday and we are the only family involved so we will be chosen.

Paperwork sent to SRS - They must approve the chosen family. Worker said this usually takes about a week.

File Read - we will travel to adoption agency office to read over the kids' file and say "yes" to the adoption. We will do this as soon as one day after SRS approval.

Paperwork sent back to SRS - SRS will schedule a subsidy meeting. We will travel back to the county the kids are in for the meeting and we will sign the APA (Adoption Placement Agreement). Worker said this could take a couple of weeks to get set up.

Transition - Usually there is a 1 to 2 month transition plan made where we viisit the kids and then they visit us before moving in.

In our case everyone at our adoption agency will be working hard to get everything done as quickly as humanly possible but they don't have any control over the SRS portions of it. Also there will be very little to no transition in our case, these kiddos will need to move to us immediately. Worst case scenario we're thinking the week of Thanksgiving but hopefully it's sooner!

I hope the SRS approval comes quickly after we are chosen. That is when we will be able to begin buying things and setting up the rooms. Plus I'm tired of saying "IF we get the kids". Lexy is so excited and obsessed with talking about the kids right now so I have to say those words many many times a day to remind her that this is not a sure thing. :(

Pumpkin Patch 2011

2011-10-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

Lexy has been begging to go to the Pumpkin Patch so we set time aside over the weekend to visit a new one that Papa & Grammy found! It was a beautiful day and Lexy loved everything they had to offer but she did tell me "this would be even more fun if I had little brothers and sisters to play with". :) Hopefully soon!! (Brooke had a cross country commitment so she wasn't with us, sadly this is happening more and more)

This one's for you Dad! hehe

Lexy decorated her pumpkins as a bat and a black cat!

Thriller

2011-10-24T10:34:00.000-05:00

On Friday Brooke's cheer squad performed a dance to "Thriller" at halftime. I think it was one of my favorites...possibly because it reminded me of my middle school days doing that dance at the skating rink with all my friends! :-)

Brooke doesn't care to have her hair messed up or to look not put together so we weren't sure how far she would go with the whole "look like a zombie" thing but we were pleasantly surprised that she really got into it!

The Adoption Scoop

2011-10-20T09:45:00.000-05:00

Ok so I haven't given an update on the best interest staffing for the 4 pack of kiddos that took place on 9/27 because we still haven't heard the outcome. We did talk with our adoption worker after the staffing and she filled us in on the additional needs and challenges that the kids have that were brought up in the staffing. These kids will take a HUGE commitment and I'm really not sure that one family could take all of it on and be successful.

NOW TO THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE!

Background:
This past May we were set to be in a staffing for three kids. We were the only family and were preparing for these kids to be a part of our family. Two days before the staffing we were told that the foster parent was now (again) interested in adopting the kids and the team had decided to do the staffing with only the foster parent.

Several weeks ago, in passing, our worker mentioned that something weird was happening with that case.

A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that our worker showed up at our door with these three children saying "we had to move them, can you take them?" and pushing them in the door.

On Monday night:
We got a call from our adoption worker asking if we were still interested in adopting these three kids. Of course we are! She couldn't share why but she said that the children were being removed very soon from their foster home and the team's hope was that these kids could be moved directly to us for adoption versus going to another foster home. She told us that there had to be a two week notice for a best interest staffing but that they would send out the notice the next day if we wanted the kids. She also said that we needed to go ahead and pick out beds, bedding, etc. and have those things ready to buy because if it happened it would be a quick transition. So you can bet we went "shopping" online that night and picked out everything we would need!

On Wednesday:
We got an e-mail from our worker saying that the notice was sent on Tuesday and the staffing was scheduled for 10/28!! Now we wait for word that we need to go ahead and buy the beds, bedding, etc.!

NOW FOR THE SMALL PRINT:
As we know, anything can happen when it comes to "the system" so this by no means is a sure thing. There are so many variables and this could all fall apart and lead our family to more heartbreak. Our worker suggested we not share with our girls until we were sure of the outcome (b/c of past heartbreaks)...and that lasted all of five minutes and then I had to tell them. So for now in our home about every other sentence includes the words "IF we get the kids..." :)

OH BTW...the children include a 4 yr. old boy, a 3 (later this month) year old girl and a 1 1/2 year old boy! :)

Toby's 2!

2011-10-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

On Sunday CJ & Jess brought Johnny home from the hospital and bravely invited family over to celebrate Toby's birthday.

Brooke AKA the baby hog wore herself out :)

Lexy spent her time hanging around with cousins!

Introducing Johnny

2011-10-18T13:20:00.000-05:00

On Friday a new little cousin/nephew joined our family. CJ and Jess welcomed Johnny Lee into the world. We went up on Sat. morning to meet and hold him. He is such a cute little...or I mean BIG thing :)

Sentences

2011-10-13T13:59:00.000-05:00

Another great parenting a teenager moment...

150 sentences and all was well again :)

Homecoming

2011-10-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

On Friday Brooke's school had Homecoming. Papa & Grammy and Mammaw & Grandpa Tom joined us to watch Brooke (and the rest of the Dazzlers) do a dance. And watch the football game (that we lost) and the crowning festivities...

Papa & Grammy brought the girls a snack. It's a faux root beer float (because Brooke can't have real root beer), it has root beer jelly beans, a cupcake and icing (for foam), a root beer candy stick and an empty root beer can. How cute!

Soccer

2011-10-08T14:08:00.001-05:00

Lexy's soccer season ended this week. Her coach was new to coaching and forgot to order trophies so the team all met one more time to get trophies and eat cupcakes.

Foster Memories Friday - Kreisa

2011-10-07T08:50:00.001-05:00

After Isaiah left us for the second time we felt we had our hands full with Lexy's case and there just wasn't too many calls for foster/respite kiddos coming in during that time., we ended up taking quite a long time off. Then we got a call for Kreisa. She was 3 years old and needed a respite home for a week while her foster parents vacationed.

We had a great time with Kreisa and did lots of fun family things while she was with us. We were all sad to see her go at the end of her stay.

Toddler

2011-10-06T08:48:00.000-05:00

This week is Spirit Week for Brooke. I can't believe today was the first day I thought to take a picture!

This time they had:

Ugly sweater/sweatshirt day - Brooke wore a sweatshirt from our rival team.
Favorite Country Day - Brooke wore a red, white and blue outfit
Favorite Celebrity Day - Brooke dressed like Taylor Swift (she has a teacher that tells her all the time that she looks like her)
Today - I'm not sure what they're calling it but the freshmen are dressing as babies, sophomores as toddlers, juniors as adults and seniors as senior citizens. Here's Brooke as a toddler, she looked so cute!...

Foster Memories Friday - Lexy

2011-09-30T13:12:00.002-05:00

As I said in the last post, Lexy came to us about a month before Isaiah left for the first time.

We got a call from a friend of ours that she had just been called about placement of a 4 month old Caucasian baby girl. She said that she told the worker to call us and that we better take this one. We were still grieving the thought of losing Isaiah in a month, we had been called about but not accepted several placements previously. After talking to our friend we had a feeling that we needed to take this placement, it just felt right. A couple hours later the supervisor from our local SRS office brought Lexy to us.

I won't share too much of Lexy's story because that is her story to tell (if/when she chooses) now but here are the highlights...

We knew we were completely head over heels in love with her after the first few days.
It took Lexy 2 weeks to give us that first smile...oh how sweet it was!
Brooke confided to us just a few weeks after Lexy arrived that she had asked God for a baby sister and she knew that Lexy was the one he had given her and that she would be staying forever.
Lexy had visits with her maternal grandpa for the first eight months she was with us.
She had visits with her birthmom for 12 months after that.
Parental rights were terminated on birthmom when Lexy was about 24 months old. Birthdad relinquished his rights at that time.
We were SO very happy to finalize Lexy's adoption one and a half years later when she was about 3 1/2 years old. The worker/agency to do the adoption was very slow but it was so worth the wait!

Lexy is now seven years old. She is a beautiful, smart, funny, wonderful part of our family. I could never imagine my life without her! <3 I always tell Lexy that God knew just what he was doing when he gave us each other....I feel so lucky and blessed that she is my daughter.

I'm wanting to do memory posts about Brooke and Lexy later but here are a few pics of the first few months Lexy was home...

Mental Health Day

2011-09-29T15:14:00.000-05:00

When I woke Lexy up this morning she was whiney, grouchy and still tired. So I decided to explain what a mental health day is to her and let her take her first one ever.

In our family, a mental health day can be taken twice per school year. I started this with Brooke back when she was about Lexy's age. It works for my girls because they normally love school and want to go (so they don't try to take advantage). I think it helps them to know that they can choose two days during the year to stay home for absolutely no other reason than that they want to. It gives them a little control and I get a little special time with them. Just another reason I love being a stay at home mom!

Lexy and I watched TV/movies, read a few books, snuggled on the couch, played computer games and had her favorites for breakfast and lunch. :) I do believe it was just what she needed!

Birthday

2011-09-27T10:02:00.000-05:00

I celebrated my birthday over the weekend. I think I'm at the point where I'd like to stop celebrating...or at least not put a number to the day :) I don't feel like I'm getting older so why should I have to be saddled with a number that I don't care for?!!

To celebrate we visited a local festival on Saturday and then on Sunday Mike fixed biscuits and gravy for me for breakfast before Papa (my dad) & Grammy and Mammaw (my mom) & Grandpa Tom went to eat at my favorite mexican restaurant with us and then came back to our house for cake (Mike got me a Tweety Bird cake, my favorite) and ice cream.

Brooke surprised me with a big sparkly Happy Birthday sign that said "I love you" and "I hope you have a great day mommy" :) I got a necklace and earring set from Mammaw & Tom and a donut maker that I've been wanting from Papa & Grammy. For my gift from Mike and the girls I asked to wait until the craft machine (Silhoutte) that I've been wanting for a year to go on sale so that I could get that!

Games

2011-09-26T10:33:00.001-05:00

We watched Brooke cheer on her football team on Friday...

Avree & Lexy

Lexy & Ryan

Brooke & Taryn

and watched Lexy play two great soccer games on Saturday morning...

Lexy & Brandon

Foster Memories Friday - Isaiah

2011-09-23T11:09:00.001-05:00

Another tear jerker for me :( I had to start and stop writing this one many times before getting it done. I'm wondering why I am putting myself through this but it is therapeutic to finally write it down.

Besides short term respite we didn't take another placement for several months, we needed the break. On the evening of my birthday we got a call for placement of a 3 month old biracial little boy. The worker said it would be a very short stay (2 weeks at most) and that she could find no one else to take him. We accepted the placement thinking it's only two weeks, we won't be too attached in two weeks. I remember the entire drive to pick Isaiah up I was praying that he would be a fussy, ugly little thing (so I wouldn't instantly fall in love). Just my luck, as I looked in the car seat I saw the most beautiful precious baby boy looking (smiling)back at me...I was a goner from that moment. Isaiah turned out to be one of the most easy going, smiley, cuddly babies I had ever met. Brooke loved having a baby in the house to love on again.

Well as happens most times in foster world, Isaiah's two week stay turned into a MUCH longer stay. He not only had visits with bio dad but also an aunt that wasn't sure if she could take him or not. But even with all the visits Isaiah continued to be a happy go lucky little guy. The next 11 months were filled with uncertainty as the decision to place Isaiah with his aunt went back and forth. During those same 11 months our family was falling completely in love with Isaiah. The decision was finally made to move Isaiah to the aunts house and we were devastated but had no say or standing in the decision. The workers in his case were heartless and viewed us as nothing more than babysitters.

Three weeks later we got a call from Isaiah's worker saying that she was having to remove Isaiah from the aunt's home and asked if he could return to us. We were overjoyed. When we picked him up from the worker the next day, Isaiah saw me get out of the car and started trying to escape from his car seat and was hollering "momma, momma, momma". When I picked him up out of his car seat Isaiah hugged my neck and wouldn't let go. The worker made the comment "well it looks like he knows who you are" and she preceded to tell us that she was happy that we accepted him back and that it looked like we'd be adopting him...what a change of attitude.

For the next few months the aunt stilled received visits (supervised now) but all talk was of us adopting Isaiah after termination of parental rights. We're not sure exactly what happened but before termination could be done, a grandma paid for aunt to get an attorney to fight for having Isaiah sent back to her. The worker wouldn't tell us any information but said that the agency had decided to just send Isaiah back instead of fighting it. By this time Isaiah had been with us long enough (12 months in our state) to qualify us as an interested party so we hired a lawyer to fight on our behalf.

By hiring our own attorney we opened up a huge can of worms but we felt that we had to fight for what we thought was right for Isaiah when no one else was. Once our lawyer filed our motion with the court the agency was not allowed to move Isaiah before the case was heard by the judge. Our agency was furious with us because now technically we were saying that they were wrongfully handling the case.

Unsupervised visits started up again with the aunt. Isaiah was feeling the stress of his life changing once again. After visits he would just lay around and numerous times throughout everyday he would come up to me and pat my chest saying "my momma" and then snuggle on my lap for the longest time. He was no longer the happy go lucky little boy that he once was.

The court date was set for the day before Christmas Eve. We knew that the chances of us still losing Isaiah were high.. Cases like this just weren't the norm and success rate was very low but we knew we were doing the right thing and that we would regret a decision not to fight for the rest of our lives. In the end the judge (who was fairly new), with tears in her eyes, said that because termination had not had a chance to happen yet that she was forced to allow Isaiah to be sent back to the aunt because he was not in "immediate danger" and she was a blood relative. The judge looked at us and apologized and then looked at aunt and told her that she better not make another mistake and that she got lucky this time. We have heard that the judge mentions our case all the time saying that she felt that she listened to the DA about what decisions she could and couldn't make instead of looking further into it herself and that she felt she failed the child in our case...and that she won't make that mistake again.

We had Isaiah for two more weeks (after he went to the aunt for Christmas) and then he was picked up from our home by his worker. When she strapped him into the car he was crying and screaming for momma :( That's the last time we saw him. He was with us for a total of 15 months from the age of three months to eighteen months. Isaiah would now be 8 years old.

** Our next foster child (Lexy) was placed in our home one month before Isaiah left for the first time. Lexy and Isaiah were only 8 months apart in age and Isaiah loved that baby girl so much. It makes me sad to think that he was taken from Lexy...and Brooke. I still miss that little boy so much :(

Anniversary

2011-09-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

Lexy had a soccer game yesterday morning. It was chilly to start but got down right COLD when the rain started pouring down on us! The other team didn't want to stop playing but we decided to take Lexy and leave, no sense in any of us getting sick!

Speaking of sick, Brooke woke up feeling better so Mike and I got to go on our anniversary date! Lexy stayed (and got spoiled) with Mammaw and Grandpa Tom and Brooke spent the night with her friend Taryn.

Mike and I choose not to go out too much without the girls (just our preference) but it was nice to have some one on one time with my sweetie. :)

We started off our date going to McDonald's (of all places!!) for lunch...our excuse was that they have the best coke and we both love coke! Next we headed up to the casino to donate a little bit of money...I say donate because we only spent about 15 minutes playing before our small allotment of money was gone. After that we headed to Target to waste a little time and look at some Christmas gift possibilities before dinner. For dinner we tried a new place, Cheddar's that was recommended to us by our friends Bryan and Sheresa...it was YUMMY! We decided to see a movie after dinner, we chose "Our Idiot Brother"...yeah don't bother seeing it! Although it did give us a good laugh that we can NOT chose a good movie to save our life! :) We headed home after the movie and got to spend a whole night in a quiet house...well minus the thunderstorms...and we slept in late this morning before picking Lexy and Brooke up.

I can't believe that 21 years ago (at the age of almost 17) I met the man that I felt I was meant to spend the rest of my life with and I still feel that way. We are so lucky to be blessed with the relationship we have!

In a funk

2011-09-16T23:12:00.004-05:00

I haven't been writing much, I'm in some sort of funk :( The past few weeks I can't shake the "something's not right with my world" feeling. I think it may be adoption related. We weren't terribly disappointed about not being chosen in the two staffings but I am disappointed that we haven't been matched with "our kids". It didn't help that at the class that we went to last weekend about half the families have been matched...I want our turn to come! We have the staffing for the sib set of four coming up on Sept. 27th but there are three other families being considered so I just can't help but think that our chances of being chosen are...well, 1 in 4. If we are not chosen we are back to square one with no possible adoption situations :(

We've been keeping busy with school, Lexy's soccer practices and games and all of Brooke's running around...have I said how nice it is that she has a car, she can now tote herself back and forth!

I got to spend a little time with the sweetest little nephew ever this week. He is at the cutest age (he'll be 2 next month) and talking up a storm :) I can't wait for the new little nephew that should be making his appearance within the next month!

I still need to get pictures scanned for my foster memories post...this one has been hard for me to write and looking at the pictures has brought me to tears multiple times. Isaiah will forever be my son in my heart.

Tomorrow is our 17th wedding anniversary (together 21 years)! Mike and I have plans to spend the day together...that is if Brooke gets to feeling better. She hasn't been feeling well (allergies) and this afternoon she was just achy, exhausted and running a low fever...you know she's sick when she misses cheering at a game!

A class & a b-day

2011-09-12T09:56:00.000-05:00

On Saturday Mike and I had the pleasure (HA!) of getting up at 5 am to make a three hour drive to attend an all day class with our adoption agency. I thought the class was interesting, Mike's word for it was boring :) The class was about the impact of trauma on a child's growing brain. The second part of the class will be in October.

On Sunday we celebrated Mike's birthday. He didn't really want to go anywhere so we just stuck around the house for the day. I made his favorite breakfast of french toast, the girls and I made him a cake, we had stuffed shells for dinner, he opened gifts and I did his chores for the day.

Foster Memories Friday - Brittany, William, Gabriel

2011-09-09T12:11:00.001-05:00

For the next several months we only took respite placements.

Brittany (3) and William (5 mos.) came to stay with us several times when their foster parents needed respite. William was such a roly poly, we loved it!

Gabriel was another one of our respite placements, I believe he was about 2.

Sweet Lexy

2011-09-06T09:24:00.000-05:00

Last week Lexy came home from school and told us that her teacher's birthday was on Monday (Labor Day) and that she wanted to take her something on Tuesday. I asked her what she wanted to take her and Lexy said "her favorite thing, a blueberry muffin". So we saved one of the jumbo blueberry muffins we made on Monday, put a candle in it, wrapped it and Lexy attached a homemade birthday card. This morning Lexy was so excited to give it to her teacher...but she forgot it at home :(

So after dropping her off at school I returned home and got the gift (along with what Brooke forgot and called to have me take to her, what a morning!) and took it into the school. Lexy was so excited to see me with the gift and ran it right into her teacher.

I love that Lexy is always thinking of others :)

Last Week

2011-09-06T09:14:00.001-05:00

Last week was spent "babysitting" my mom after her neck surgery. It wasn't too bad though, kinda like watching a newborn baby, she pretty much slept anytime she sat down. :)

Mike was on call for work all week so on Saturday Brooke, Lexy and I headed up to the city for some shopping and a movie, I love spending time with those girls :) We stopped by McDonald's for lunch first because Lexy had seen a flyer that Ronald McDonald would be there...

Then we headed up to the mall for some shopping, Brooke got soaked looking at movie times at another theater, we ate dinner and then went back and watched the movie Spy Kids, All the Time in the World at the mall. We had so much fun the whole day and laughed so hard!

For Labor Day we didn't do much. Lexy and I made blueberry muffins and sausage for breakfast and Mike cooked steak on the grill for dinner...and we all lazed around the house in between.

Adoption Update

2011-08-26T17:02:00.000-05:00

The waiting continues.

Our adoption worker called today to tell us that we were not the chosen family in either of the staffings this week. We weren't really surprised by this information, I'm not sure why. I had told Mike earlier today that I just didn't feel like we would be chosen. It just wasn't meant to be.

So now we wait for the sibling group of 4's BIS, which now is being pushed back to the end of Sept./beg. of Oct. because of more scheduling conflicts. I won't get started on my feelings that these kids should come before lunch dates and vacations!

Our worker also mentioned that there is a possiblity that TWO of our previous adoption situations may be looking for a home again. We'll know more in the next few weeks.

We are disappointed but not ready to throw in the towel. We just have to wait a little longer for OUR kid(s)!

Foster Memories Friday - Josie & Drake

2011-08-26T08:24:00.002-05:00

The next placement that we accepted was for a caucasian sibling set. Josie was about to turn one and Drake was two. When we picked them up at the SRS office we were surprised that Josie came toddling up to us and wanted picked up...no stranger anxiety there!

It was nice to have our home filled with the laughter and noise of more kids and Brooke loved little Josie. Drake was a little more difficult, he would throw the loudest most destructive tantrums that I have ever seen. He would kick, hit and lash out when put into time out. We began putting him in his room for timeouts...until he started tearing up his room (including hitting the dresser on the wall over and over and then knocking it over).

Drake and Josie ended up only staying with us for less than a month before moving to Grandma's house. They left on Josie's 1st birthday. We were called a few months later when they were removed from Grandma, we were sad to say no to taking them back but we knew that Drake would be even worse the second time. A couple years later we heard that Drake went to live with his dad and Josie was adopted by a family member. We get to see Josie around town every now and then :) Drake would be 11 now and Josie would be 9.

Just Kidding

2011-08-24T12:53:00.000-05:00

Yeah so I spoke too soon! Our worker e-mailed to tell us that the staffing scheduled for today was being rescheduled again :( They also sent a small update on the medical needs of one of the children and asked us (as well as the other 3 families) to fill out a form about the kids and send it back.

I AM FRUSTRATED!!!

But I have to wonder if this staffing did not happen today for a reason. What is meant to be will find a way to happen!

It's ON

2011-08-24T09:44:00.000-05:00

All THREE best interest staffings ARE going to happen this week.

Today is the first, for the sibling group of four. We found out that we are one of four families being considered. I'm hoping for a call from our worker later this afternoon with the results...but I'm not holding my breath.

Tomorrow the BIS is for the two boys.

Friday the BIS is for 1 boy.

THE WAITING IS KILLING ME!!!!!!

I know that with four families being considered for each kiddo/sibling set that the possiblity of us not being chosen for any of them is high but I don't want to think about that right now. I'm glad for the kids' sake that there are so many intersted families but we never dreamed when we decided we were meant to provide a home/family for more kids that that would be the case.

Praying that we are given peace about the outcome on all three days.

Distraction

2011-08-22T13:25:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a looonnnggg stressful week. We have something to do in the evening everyday but one this week, we have THREE best interest staffings (or at least we think they're still happening this week) and my mom is having surgery on top of all the regular ole stuff...bleh.

I'm going to try to keep myself distracted by finishing up the playroom decluttering and cleanup that I've been working on. Here's what the dressup cabinet looks like after a makeover...

First Week Fashion

2011-08-22T10:06:00.001-05:00

Last year I took pictures of the girls' outfits for the entire first week of school and thought it was fun so I did it again this year. Brooke snuck out on me (darn that driving stuff!!) before I could take a picture one day and another was very blurry so I'll just do Lexy's first week fashion (she chose skirts all week!) and a few of the hairdos we did.

A keeper

2011-08-20T08:30:00.001-05:00

Brandon's (Lexy's "boyfriend") mom asked me if I'd be willing to keep Brandon after school a couple of afternoons a week. The kids are loving getting to spend the time together and I'm loving listening to them talk! The first day on the way home I hear this conversation from the back seat...

Brandon - "when I get married..."
Lexy - "to me"
Brandon - "yes when I get married to you I am going to buy myself a lamborghini or a ferrari...but I'm not going to let you drive it because they are too fast and unsafe. BUT I will buy you a corvette or camero!"

She better keep that one!! :)

Foster Memories Friday - Randy and Jessie/Zander

2011-08-19T08:28:00.000-05:00

After Alex left, we decided that we needed to take a few months "off" to process through our grief. During that time we did respite (basically babysitting for other foster families) for a couple of different families.

Randy (Scooter) stayed a couple of weeks with us while his foster family was going through an allegation investigation.

Jessie and Zander stayed with us a couple of different times when their foster family needed someone to keep them. This resulted in a great friendship with this family.

1st Day

2011-08-15T09:49:00.000-05:00

Another first day of school is upon us. I have such mixed emotions about school starting...I'm one of those moms that actually enjoy having my kiddos at home so it makes me sad to have this quiet house to deal with again but it makes me happy to see the girls' excitement at getting to see their friends and the chance to learn and grow.

As per tradition, I fixed breakfast while the girls got dressed in their new 1st day of school outfits. Then we took some pictures, Brooke said "I am NOT holding that sign" but she did to make mom happy. :)

Then I watched as my 15 year old baby...yes she's still my baby, get into her car and drive away. Oh what knots that put into my stomach!!! We agreed beforehand that to keep this momma's nervousness in check that Brooke would call when she got to school to say "Here" and hang up...ya know anything more would be utter embarrassment for her :)

Lexy has been telling me for weeks that she would "allow" me to walk her in to school on her first day but when we got there this morning she asked if she could walk in by herself :( yep she's growing up too fast! Sweet thing kept saying "but I love you so much mommy" to make me feel better :)

So now I sit in a very quiet house (except for the TV that is only on for the noise) planning a special 1st day of school dinner (tacos) and dessert (brownies) while I wait for time to pick Lexy up!

Summer Fun - Week 11

2011-08-14T11:47:00.000-05:00

We started off the week playing glow-in-the-dark minature golf.

Lexy and I made a trip to the lake to play in the sand and water. I hadn't been there since high school but I knew Lexy would love it after visiting Myrtle Beach this summer...and she DID! I think I've created a monster, she says she wants to go there everyday!

We also spent a day at Coco Key, an indoor waterpark with Robin and her kiddos. We had a fun time and it was nice to not have to worry about sunscreen (since I got burnt the day before). I can't believe I didn't take one picture of our day :(

On Friday, we took Lexy's school supplies up to her school to put away and met her teacher. And then we headed up for an early movie (Glee 3D), went to lunch at Denny's (a favorite of all of ours) and then headed to Target for some shopping.

Foster Memories Friday - Alex

2011-08-13T19:22:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned last week, we got our next call just a few weeks after James joined our family. That call came on a Friday afternoon at 4pm, a caucasian newborn baby boy just out of the hospital needing to be picked up from the office (an hour away) by 6pm. I knew I couldn't get ahold of Mike to ask his opinion but I knew his answer would have been no, he was always the voice of reason and we were overwhelmed at the time with James. So I said YES (who could say no to a newborn?) and had to listen to him grump all the way up to the office. The office was closed so I had to bang on the back door to be let in (kinda felt like I was doing something wrong). I walked out with the most beautiful little peanut, Mike changed his tune once he saw that little face. :) I had been told that we could and would want to choose one of his 5 (this was narrowed down from the 20 that mom wanted to name him) names (most very weird) to call him by, we chose Alex.

Alex had severe acid reflux but it took us a couple of months and lots of sleepless nights to convince the dr of this. I remember just a couple of nights after bringing him home I took Alex to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to get gas drops to see if they would help. The well meaning cashier gave quite a loud performance at the sight of us thinking that I had just given birth and was out alone in the middle of the night with a screaming baby (Mike's ears had to be burning). Her face turned red and she apologized profusely when I explained that I was a foster mom and therefore did not give birth meer hours ago. Thank goodness my job was one that I could go in my office and take small naps throughout the day b/c that was a LONG couple of months!

When Alex was about three months old we were told that his worker (who was the worker from h-e-double hockey sticks) was moving him to be closer to his birthmom who had moved back to her hometown after being released from the mental institute she had been in (schizophrenia). By this time we had fallen completely head over heels in love with Alex, we were devastated. As it turned out, the move never happened and we ended up agreeing to transport Alex back and forth once a month for visits with his birthmom. During this time we got to know birthmom, some family history (Alex has six siblings, five of whom has schizophrenia) and we found out that Alex's great aunt and uncle from CA were completing the paperwork to possibly have Alex moved to them. We were told early on that these relatives had not passed the homestudy needed previously so we were asked if we would be willing to adopt Alex if that were the case. We said absolutely yes.

We celebrated so many of Alex's firsts with him...smile, coo, word, steps...and then right after we celebrated his first birthday with him we got a call from his maternal grandma saying that she didn't think the great aunt and uncle would be passing the homestudy and would we please adopt Alex. We assured her that we would love and care for him as our own forever.

A week later I went to court (alone) and got the most devestating news, the great aunt and uncle had passed the homestudy and Alex would be moved immediately. I was an hour and a half away from home, alone and my world was falling apart. The worker was SO mean, rude and uncaring after court. I tried to hold myself together and be professional but I ended up having to excuse myself telling her that she would just have to call and tell us when and how Alex was leaving (she was on the phone with the great aunt and uncle). I went to my car and cried and cried. It took me forever to drive home that day through my tears. Before I even got home the worker had called to tell us that the great aunt and uncle would be picking Alex up from our home in one week. She also wanted to make sure that we weren't a flight risk...I have to be honest and say that the thought of taking him and moving to another country did cross our minds!

We spent the next week packing and loving on "our son". I don't think I stopped crying the entire week. The worst part was having to explain to Brooke (6) what was going to happen :( The day came for him to leave...the great aunt and uncle came to our house, stayed and talked for a little while (they were very nice), packed their trunk full of all of Alex's belongings, loaded our son into their car and drove away. Before placing Alex in the car I handed him a book and a lovey that played "you are my sunshine", the song that I sang to him multiple times a day. I asked if they would call him Alex or his birthname and they said they would be changing his name to Robby. After they left we went inside and I cried myself to sleep and slept the rest of the afternoon.

We learned quickly that losing a foster child after this long in your family felt a lot like a death and had to be grieved in that way. For about a month I didn't leave the house unless absolutely necessary for fear of someone asking about Alex or even how I was doing. We also asked the school councelor to talk with Brooke and they ended up making a wonderful picture book about Alex.

The great aunt and uncle did send us a few pictures a couple of months later and about a year after he left we got to see Alex/Robby. They were visiting family nearby and invited us. Unfortunately Mike wasn't able to go but Brooke and I did. It made me feel good that they had kept pictures of Brooke in his room so he knew her by name when we saw him and he ran down the hallway to her. He came to me willingly and played with my keychain and phone (just like he used to) and gave me hugs. It was definately a feeling of closure for me, he seemed happy and well taken care of and he was no longer "my Alex".

We lost contact after that visit but I did hear that the great uncle has since passed (of cancer that he was battling when they came for Alex) and that they may have moved to our state. Alex/Robby would now be 9 1/2 (10 in Oct.).

I have to admit that I cried the entire time I wrote this, the pain of losing Alex runs very deep :(

A Real Adoption Update

2011-08-12T19:12:00.000-05:00

Soooooo...Our adoption worker finally called today. She said she didn't have much update but here it is...

ALL of the best interest staffings were rescheduled, yep that means that we've been waiting, worrying and wondering all week for nothing! Ugh!!!

So now the updated schedule is...

Sibling group of 4 - BIS 8/24
Sibling set of 2 - BIS 8/25
Single 2 yr. old boy - BIS 8/26

Adoption Update

2011-08-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

Yeah so this is where I should be putting an update about the two best interest staffings that we were included in this week.

BUT...

I can't give an update if I haven't been given one!!!!!! My patience is being tested and I am FAILING miserably!!!

I e-mailed our worker last week with a couple of questions and never got a reply. I only know she's still alive because she e-mailed on Monday afternoon saying that the budget that I e-mailed to the worker of the 4 pack of siblings didn't make it and I needed to send it to her.

So allegedly there was a BIS sometime Monday for a sibling set of two boys, 4 & 2 with our agency. Our worker had said that while she couldn't "technically" tell us if we were chosen (they have to wait for SRS approval) she could tell us if we were not chosen so we could decide if we wanted her to still go to the BIS on Wed. NO CALL.

Then allegedly at 11am on Wednesday there was a BIS for the siblings set of four with another agency. We still don't know how many families were even being considered

So I've e-mailed and left a voicemail for our worker asking for ANY information that she could share with us and SHE ISN'T SHARING!!!

So I sit here going crazy - er....

Extreme Home Makeover

2011-08-08T10:14:00.002-05:00

We had heard on the news that the Extreme Home Makeover show was being taped in a nearby town this week. Saturday they were going to do the big reveal so we headed over to watch. Most weeks we watch the show so the girls were excited to get a glimpse of the stars. We stopped over at the sight about 11am to take a few pictures and found out the reveal would happen about 7pm. We headed back into town to waste a few hours before heading back out at 4pm to get a good spot.

Fortunately they had bleachers set up for spectators (and we got a spot) but it was HOT! We had snacks, drinks, things to keep the girls busy and an umbrella to try to keep the sun off of us so it wasn't unbearable. The crew was wonderful about handing out (free) water and gatorade all day but the sun and heat were just too much for some and EMS had to remove several sick people throughout the day.

Before filming started one of the designers, John Littlefield, came out to the crowd and signed autograghs. Brooke got one, Lexy only wanted Ty's autogragh and was disappointed that he didn't come out. Filming began about 7pm and we got glimpses of the designers Ty, Paige, John and Ed. We heard that Paulie was there earlier in the week but didn't see him at the reveal.

A little after 8pm we decided to leave. The girls weren't feeling well, were tired of standing, were hungry and the SLOW process of filming had lost their interest. So while we saw motorcycles and servicemen go by about 4 times, the limo go up and down the street about four times and a fake family walking up to the house we never got to see the real family or say "Bus Driver, Move that Bus!". Lexy had even made a sign but the crowd was told that we would not be hollering the words because the father of the family has PTSD and loud noises were a trigger for him.

All in all we decided that it was a hot exhausting day but it was worth it to experience something new! Oh BTW the house was beautiful, 4000 sq. ft. and we heard it had a big pool in the back!

Of all things I forgot my camera, I had to use my phone so I couldn't get up close pics of the stars :(

Summer Fun - Week 10

2011-08-06T10:04:00.000-05:00

We went swimming with Robin, Kenzie, Molly and Ryan at the pool in another town. The heat index was well over 100 and it felt like we were swimming in a warm bath :( But the kids had fun so it was worth it!

We enrolled in school...yes the girls actually found this exciting, they both want to go back! They miss their friends! Then we spent the day at the mall with Robin and her kids doing some back to school shopping.

Lexy had a bubble mania day. We tried all kinds of fun ways to make bubbles, we even made our own bubble solution!!

We also did a last minute chinese lunch and trip up to Deanna Rose Farmstead. We love going up there, so many fun things to do and animals to see!

Foster Memories Friday - James

2011-08-05T20:00:00.000-05:00

A couple months after Ronnie & DeeDee left, we got a call for a 3 (almost 4) year old caucasian boy. We hesitated at first because he was closer to Brooke's age (5) but decided that it would be nice for her to have someone to play with. Since I had taken a job (first one in 7 yrs.) as a para at a local school, James went to daycare during the day while Brooke and I were at school and Mike was at work.

Right away we noticed something was not right with James. He never played with Brooke, he showed absolutely no emotion at all, he was very manipulative (especially about food), always wanted to be in control, broke things, stole, lied constantly and he never wanted to be touched or have help with anything. Both his daycare provider and our family were having a very hard time so I began doing research trying to figure at what could be causing James to act the way he did. We asked for help from our foster worker and finally got James evaluated and he was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Severely Emotionally Disturbed.

Parenting James turned out to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. We discovered that children with the type of disorders he had must be parented completely different and people judge (even family) you because they don't understand. I questioned myself daily. I still thought love could conquer all and when love didn't help James I felt I had failed.

During this time we had gotten a call for and accepted our next placement, a newborn. James seemed to just totally ignore the new baby until one day I picked them both up from daycare. The daycare provider told me that she had gone in the kitchen for a moment and the baby (that was in a swing) began to scream, as she turned the corner to check on him she noticed that James was pulling the baby's leg and would not let go. Neither she nor I could get James to tell us why he had done what he had done and he showed no remorse for doing it.

We asked for James to be removed from our home. We felt he needed someone more experienced in parenting a child with his disorders and we were scared for the safety of the other kids in our home. James left our home after four months. I felt guilty for having him moved but after he left I discovered that parenting him had taken a huge toll on me (emotionally and mentally) and our family as a whole, we did what was best for our family. James would now be 13 1/2.

Summer Fun - Week 9

2011-08-03T09:12:00.001-05:00

Brooke was at Cheer Camp most of the week, having a great time! While I wasn't nervous about her going (a miracle), I did feel a little sad that this was a preview of what is to come. The cheer camp was held at a college (the girls stayed in the dorms) about 2 1/2 hours away. It makes me sad that in three short years this will be our reality...Brooke will have graduated from high school and will be moving on with her life. :(

While Brooke was away, Lexy and I spent a couple of days lazing around the house, and a couple of days shopping for school stuff. Lexy isn't much of a shopper until she gets an "all about Lexy day" and then she loves it! She got gym shoes, a bunch of earrings (she can't wait to be able to change hers, her six weeks are up the day before school starts!), an earring holder and a really cute first day of school outfit!

On Friday we went to see The Smurfs movie. Both girls thought it was cute. Afterwards Lexy just HAD to go to Target and get a couple of smurfs to play with while Brooke did some school shoppping.

On Saturday we went up to the Midwest Kidfest for some family fun. They had pony rides, inflatables, a pet adoption event (Lexy's favorite, that girl would have 100 dogs if we'd let her), and lots of vendors selling their items. Brooke got some more flower clips for her hair and Lexy got a new hat for the winter! They both enjoyed playing with the little spider monkey that was there too.

Foster Memories Friday - Ronnie & DeeDee

2011-07-29T07:53:00.004-05:00

We stopped fostering almost two years ago after over eight years. Some days I miss the chaos...most days I don't! But everyday I miss and think about the kiddos that were a part of our life, family and hearts. I want to remember forever each little one that touched our lives so for the next little while on Fridays I will take a moment to write about and remember them.

We got out first call just a couple weeks after we got our foster license. A call for boy/girl 18 mo. old biracial twins. We said yes to the placement and got to work getting everything ready. We were excited but so so nervous. A couple of hours later, the emergency foster parents pulled up in our driveway. We walked out to the car and saw the biggest brown eyes just staring up at us. After taking them inside, the other foster parents stayed and talked for a few minutes and then left...I remember thinking "oh my goodness I'm really totally responsible for these two precious little ones that I know nothing about"!

The twins (Ronnie and DeeDee) came with only the onsies on their backs so the next morning I took them (and a then 5 yo Brooke) to Wal-Mart to buy complete wardrobes. At the time I was working at a friend's daycare center so the twins spent their days at the daycare with me when they weren't being toted off by a complete stranger (driver) to visits with a birth mom that had neglected (cheerios were thrown on the floor for them to eat), abused (cigarette burns) and asked for them to be removed. During their time with us we learned so much about the system, ourselves and loving a child not born to us (that was the easy part).

Ronnie and DeeDee were only in our home for three months when the judge decided that b/c birthmom had shown up at court that the children would be returned to her. They left just as quickly as they came but definately left a small little hole in this momma's heart forever. Several months after them leaving we were told that they were back in the system and would be available for adoption but by that time our house was full of other children. I pray that they found a wonderful family that loves them deeply. They would now be 11 1/2 years old.

They would stand at the gate while I cooked and both say "eat, eat, eat" over and over until the meal was ready!

We all dressed alike for the 4th!

Brooke's first taste of being a big sister...most days she liked it! :)

Daddy the horsie!

Camp bound

2011-07-25T11:49:00.000-05:00

We got up extra early this morning to get donuts and juice before dropping these two off for the drive to Cheer Camp. Brooke was super excited to go! They've been looking forward to it since they didn't get to go last year when the school decided to only go every other year. They're going to have a week of lots of fun (lots of work too since they're scheduled from 7:30a-10pm each day!).

Brooke and Taryn

Summer Fun Week 8

2011-07-24T11:38:00.000-05:00

It has been hotter than hot the past couple of weeks with no end in sight but we did still manage to have some summer fun :)

We went over to Robin's house to swim in their pool (so the moms could stay in the air conditioned house and watch from the window!). At the end of the day Brooke was the proud owner of the most burnt face in town (maybe she'll remember her face next time she puts on sunblock!).

We went school shopping one day. We got almost all of Lexy's supplies, some of Brooke's and we found both of their bags (rolling for Lexy, over the shoulder for Brooke) and their first day of school outfits. I can't believe that we only have a few weeks of summer left. :(

Daddy took the day off and joined us at Zonkers. We took cousins, Toby & Ashley with us for the fun and met Robin and her kids up there...

On Friday we met Grammy & Papa to drop Lexy off. She ended up staying two nights (first sleepover for her) and got VERY spoiled!! She already wants to go back :) While Lexy was gone, Brooke got some mommy & daddy time all to herself...and wasn't real thrilled with it haha. We did do some shopping and rented movies but she said it was boring with no one to fight with!

Adoption Update

2011-07-21T17:08:00.001-05:00

We were surprised to get a couple more updates earlier this week...

Sib group of 4 (g-5, g-4, g-2, b-1)- BIS still scheduled for Aug. 10th. We're not sure how many families are being considered.

Sib group of 2 (b-4, g-3) - We're still waiting for more information on this situation.

Almost 2 year old boy w/ our agency - BIS scheduled for Aug. 15th. We are in this staffing with 3 other families.

Sibling set (b-3, g-2) that we had submitted our homestudy for last year in another state. Our worker got an e-mail that said "we received the homestudy and will let you know shortly if they are determined to be the best fit for these children". She and we don't know exactly what that statement means...are they just narrowing down families or are they ready to choose one? So we just wait to see!

Sibling set (b-4, b-2) w/our agency - BIS scheduled for Aug. 8th. We are in this staffing with 3 other families as well.

A calm has come over me. I am ready and willing to parent any of these kiddos, whatever is meant to be. Our adoption worker told me the other day "you very well may be chosen for the 4 pack of kiddos and then I WILL say you asked for this!" I laughed and said "well I've been told that if anyone is crazy enough to take that on it's me :)". I think sometimes we get so caught up in worrying about the small stuff that we forget to look at the big picture ...and our big picture is that we will be providing love, a home and family to the children that have been chosen for us from the beginning and we will all be blessed by that in many ways.

Summer Fun Week 7

2011-07-19T08:52:00.002-05:00

We went to Chuck E. Cheese. Lexy was excited to go and Brooke wanted the pizza...which they changed and is now yucky! Lexy and I had a blast playing all the games while Brooke read and then at the end Brooke joined in on the game fun too!

We also went to see the movie "Zookeeper". It had all of us laughing throughout!

We had planned on swimming at a new pool but our friends backed out and it was just too hot even for the pool! So instead we decided to run errands and then stop for shaved ice, YUM!

Saturday night we met Robin and the kids at the drive in. I love that we have such old fashion family fun nearby!!

Adoption Update

2011-07-14T18:35:00.003-05:00

Things are getting confusing with all the situations but here goes...

Sib group of 4 (g-5, g-4, g-2, b-1)- BIS scheduled for Aug. 10th. We asked for and received some more information on the 4 yr. old's autism. Not proud to say that I had a little freak out party (poor Mike) about this whole situation yesterday and almost pulled our homestudy from the BIS but I'm feeling better about it today and I know that God will provide us with everything we would need to parent these kiddos if we are meant to.

Sib group of 2 (g-3, b-1) (future sibling) (TPR appeal)- our worker e-mailed the kids' worker about our willingness to do a legal risk placement if it's a possibility but she's heard nothing back. Update: kids worker e-mailed, they will be looking into foster/adopt homes only :(

Sib group of 2 (b-4, g-3) - We're not sure about this situation. They have suffered an abuse that we don't wish to knowingly bring into our home so we are asking lots of questions and waiting for answers.

Almost 2 year old boy w/ our agency - BIS is being postponed until an appt. for a neurological exam can be made. Update: tentative BIS date set for 8/15

Sibling set (b-3, g-2) that we had submitted our homestudy for last year in another state. Homestudy submitted.

New...

Sibling set (b-4, b-2) w/our agency - Rec'd profile. Waiting for a picture and answers to a couple of questions. Update: 5 families submitted, team will probably narrow down next week.

THE questions have begun

2011-07-12T13:25:00.000-05:00

Lexy and I were sitting here eating lunch watching TV when she turned around and began this conversation...

Lexy - "I'm adopted right?"
Me - "Yes you are."
Lexy - "Then do I have a real mom?"
Me - "Yes you have a birth mom."
Lexy - "Do you know her?"
Me - "Yes I know who she is."
Lexy - "So then I have two moms."
Me - "Yes you have your birth mom who grew you in her tummy and me (mommy) who has loved and cared for you."

At this point Lexy shook her head yes and then turned back to her food/tv. In some ways I wanted to continue the conversation but I'm going to follow her lead, she'll ask more when she's ready.

I sure hope I'm doing this right! It's so hard to know. We've always talked about adoption openly and we decided a long time ago that any questions asked will always be answered honestly. All I want is for Lexy to feel loved, heard, understood and treasured.

Just the other day Lexy, Brooke and I were talking about how Lexy likes to be creative (like sewing plastic canvas) like I do and Brooke really doesn't like those things. Lexy said "isn't it funny that even though I'm adopted and you had Brooke that I'm more like you than she is?" :) I hope she always feels that closeness!

Summer Fun Week 6

2011-07-09T21:22:00.001-05:00

Besides 4th of July fun and the family reunion, our summer fun for week 6 included...

another trip to Jumping Jax for Lexy & Avree (it's Lexy's favorite)...

and swimming at the pool with Robin, Ryan & Molly (opps no pics) for Lexy and I.

Brooke spent the week up at Papa & Grammy's house getting spoiled! Somehow Brooke, Lexy and I each had a little shopping spree this week...

4th of July Family Reunion

2011-07-05T19:09:00.000-05:00

Mike's family hasn't had a family reunion in 7 years. The pictures of us from the last one include an 8 yr. old Brooke and Isaiah (our 1 yr. old foster son). Lexy came to us soon after that reunion. We had a good time catching up with everyone!

OUR CRAZY LIFE

Crystal Ball

Brooke's Fun

Lexy's fun

My girls

Court Update

No update

Court

Lexy & Mommy Day

Before & After

Red Plate-Lexy (Student of the Month)

Happy girl = Scared momma

New Year

New Years Eve

Adoption Update

Meet Brandy...

Friends Day

Christmas 2011 :)

Christmas Eve 2011

Merry Christmas to all!!

Past trauma and holidays

The cousins

The Homeless Man

A dog massage

First Day - Winter Break

Winter Party

Christmas Family Fun Day

Adoption Update

Brooke AND Lexy Dance

Cookie Making

Slumber Party and Snowman Night at the Library

President Obama's Visit

Toby & Johnny

Room Switch

Mrs. Claus' visit

O Christmas Tree

Thanksgiving 2011

Answers but not really

Court

UGH!!!

The good, the bad and the ugly

Couldn't wait

Lexy's Program

Earthquake!!!!

Long Day

Thankful November

Halloween 2011

It's a Boy...and a Girl....and a Boy!!

Informal 2011

More questions

Foster Memories Friday - Beth

Chores

Adoption Update

Pumpkin Patch 2011

Thriller

The Adoption Scoop

Toby's 2!

Introducing Johnny

Sentences

Homecoming

More Questions

Soccer

Foster Memories Friday - Kreisa

Toddler

Foster Memories Friday - Lexy

Mental Health Day

Birthday

Games

Foster Memories Friday - Isaiah

Anniversary

In a funk

A class & a b-day

Foster Memories Friday - Brittany, William, Gabriel

Sweet Lexy

Last Week

Adoption Update

Foster Memories Friday - Josie & Drake

Just Kidding

It's ON

Distraction